Quiet, Please

Quiet, Please is a comedy in one act by Howard Buermann (1908-2007)

The original text

Separated by a chalk line down the middle of their cabin, Jeff and Judd, brothers, carry on a long feud of silence despite attempts to reconcile them. Their feud strikes a snag when they find themselves with an uninvited overnight guest on their hands in the form of Catherine, a young woman whose car has broken down near their farm. The situation becomes hilarious as the brothers attempt to maintain hospitality and personal hostilities. The feud collapses and Catherine departs. Pleased with their reconciliation, the brothers prepare to celebrate but fall into a wrangle trying to recall what the original quarrel was about!

Published by Dramatists Play Service, 1937.

Quiet Please is regularly performed in middle school and high school drama contests and one-act festivals.